the inner workings of lily evans twisted mind
by The all mighty and powerfulM
Summary: Lily's life isn't very good, at all. She spills her story to James when shes 'not herself', and then James has to go and stay with her.it should be intresting, to say the least.
1. intro

The inner workings of Lily Evans' twisted mind.  
  
Disclaimer: If you think I own Harry Potter your pretty stupid, cuz I don't, and you know that. Your just trying to get me banned aren't, you?*glares @ u*  
  
Summary: Lily Evans is a goody-goody at Hogwarts, to anyone who doesn't know her. They think she's nice, innocent and sweet. Their wrong. People may think Lily has no friends in Hogwarts, and knows no-one, but they have never seen her at 'La Rave'. She usually parties all night long, but they don't know that, or do they?  
  
a/n: Alright. This story was deleted. I decided to start it up again. This is one of the chappies that I am redoing. Yay!  
  
~*~*~*~*~*  
  
When people at Hogwarts think of Lily Evans they tend to think of sweet and innocent. I highly doubt that Lily Evans was or will ever be sweet or innocent. She can act both sweet or innocent, but I'm underline the act in the sentence. No one really knows the real Lily Evans, and she would like to keep it that way. She has friends in every different places, most of them Slythrens (at least the ones on Hogwarts anyway). . Lily is a druggie. She has tried every drug on the market, legal or not. Lily lost her virginity when she was13 years old. Now with every thing you just heard would you believe me if I told you she was a Gryffindor? Well, she is.  
  
Now James Potter is another story. He's a mindless jock, and he's popular. Probably one of the most popular guys in school. Some would say he's a player. Others would say he's searching for the right 'one'. He occasionally went to parties (like once, or twice a week). He had 'tried' some stuff, but nothing serious. He was a prankster, who had formed a tight group with 3 other boys in first year (Lily formed some friendships, but, of course no one knew that).  
  
Which one is worse, do you think? That's what I thought.  
  
Lily's family is screwed up, to say the least. God knows what happened to her sister, Petunia. She was probably living with her boyfriend, but Lily didn't know, or care for that matter. Lily's mother has tried to kill Lily many times, by poisoning her food. She was insane, by Lily's standards, and threw "fits" for no reason all the time. Lily's father didn't want anything to do with Lily, and neither did Lily for that matter. He sends checks in the mail every month to Lily and she is fine with that. Lily spent more time in someone else's house than she did her own. That was normal for everyone where she lived. She lived in a hell hole. The only thing in that town you ever had was your friends, and that was usually it, unless you were lucky and had a loving family(which was rare).Sometimes people moved out of the city because they got new jobs, or shit like that, but it didn't matter. It was the only town in England that was so poor that it didn't matter if you were muggle or magic. It was a really bad place, especially for kids growing up there.  
  
Now James was different again. Better off. He grew up in a rich part of England, where you got judged by everything you did. The only thing he had to worry about was if his tie looked strait or not.  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
a/n: Short, I know. Please tell me what you think of it. Give me any suggestions, too.Yay! I redid it! 


	2. chapter 2

Disclaimer: I think it's in chap 1, but I'm not sure.  
  
Summary: Lily Evans is a goody-goody at Hogwarts, to anyone who doesn't know her. They think she's nice, innocent and sweet. Their wrong. People may think Lily has no friends in Hogwarts, and knows no-one, but they have never seen her at 'La Rave'. She usually parties all night long, but they don't know that, or do they?  
  
a/n: These ideas are Daisy Silks, she reviewed to this story before it was deleted.  
  
spell: Thanks. So your new in fanfiction? Welcome!.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*  
  
The story starts on the day the go back to Hogwarts(well morning, actually, but you know what I mean).  
  
Lily woke up at 9:07 in the morning. She lazily got up, and looked at the clock.  
  
"Ah, it's only 9 in the morning. That's good." Said Lily. It was then that something in her brain clicked. It was the day she went back to Hogwarts! "Shit!" said Lily. "OK. EVERYBODY OUT I GOTTA GET READY FOR HOGWARTS!" screamed Lily.  
  
Everyone started to leave. She pulled back one guy who looked about 18.  
  
"Can you drive?" she asked him.  
  
"Yeah." He said, tiredly.  
  
"Alright you stay." Said Lily.  
  
"Whatever." Came his reply.  
  
Her Hogwarts things were all around the floor. She started throwing everything in the trunk. The guy just watched.  
  
"What the hell are you doing, just sitting there? Put stuff in the trunk." Said Lily.  
  
"Huh?" he asked.  
  
"I said-" started Lily.  
  
"I know what you said but 2 things. 1 I don't even know what Hogwarts is, or what stuff goes in there, and 2 I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHO YOU ARE OR WHAT YOU WANT!" he said.  
  
"I'm Lily Evans. Your going to drive me to the train station. Put anything on the floor in the trunk. God knows what my mother will do with it." Said Lily.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*  
  
"James, sweetheart, it's time to get up." Said his mother, shaking him softly.  
  
"5 more minutes, mom." Moaned James, tiredly.  
  
"It's 9. Wake up or you'll be late for Hogwarts." His mother replied.  
  
"Alright, alright. I'm up." Said James, slowly lifting his head from his soft pillows.  
  
"Good." She left the room.  
  
James put his head back down and tried to get back to sleep.  
  
"JAMES DON'T GO BACK TO SLEEP!" yelled his mother.  
  
"Yes, mom." Said James, attempting to get up.  
  
~*~*~**~~*  
  
"Thanks, whatever your name is." Said Lily.  
  
"Whatever." said the guy driving a pink pick up truck, which was obviously painted when he was "not himself".  
  
Lily went through the barrier. She spotted Serverus and Lucius. She "accidentally" dropped her trunk on both of them, making them fall down.  
  
"What the hell did you do that for, bitch?" asked Serverus.  
  
"Cuz I felt like it, slime ball." Answered Lily.  
  
Lucius picked up Lily with one hand around her neck. She was comfortable, but you wouldn't know that.  
  
"You didn't come to my party last night." Whispered Lily.  
  
"Yes, because unlike you I need a few decent hours of sleep." Said Lucius, pushing up a little, so it looked like he was holding her tighter, but in reality he actually loosened his grip.  
  
"Look, it's your fan club coming to save me." Said Lily, motioning to the murderers coming down the hall.  
  
"Damn." Swore Lucius.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*  
  
(a/n: this is in both Lily and James' eyes, so when you read "Malfoy, Snape, and the poor girl" it's in James' eyes, and when you hear "Lucius, and Serverus" it's in Lily's eyes).  
  
James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter were walking down the train when they saw Lucius Malfoy pushing some "poor girl" against a wall. She was "trembling" undernesth of him.  
  
"Malfoy, you had better let that poor girl go." Said James bravely.  
  
"For the first time in his life, I think Potter is right, Lily, you are poor." Muttered Sreverus so that only Lily, and Lucius could hear.  
  
Lucius snickered. Lily had to hide a smirk, and looked scared.  
  
"Malfoy, I told you to let her go." Said James.  
  
"Oh and I am going to listen to you." Malfoy laughed.  
  
"Yes, you are." Said James, threatening, as he pulled out his wand.  
  
Malfoy dropped the girl.  
  
"Good." Said James, and he and the murderers left.  
  
When they were out of hearing range Lily glared at Lucius.  
  
"'You know that when you dropped me it hurt more than when they were here." Said Lily, mentioning the murderers.  
  
"Sorry." Said Lucius, not sounding sorry at all.  
  
"Well, thank you so much, my knight in shinning armor, the love of my life, ewww not like that!" said Lily referring to the wink Lucius gave her.  
  
Serverus and Lucius helped her up and she embraced them.  
  
"God, Lily your acting like you haven't seen us in years. You came over to my house yesterday. By the way, there's gonna be a wicked party in Slythren common room at 10:00 tonight." Said Lucius, after gasping for air.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*  
  
(a/n: I wanted to stop here, but I decided to continue, cuz I'll probably forget what I gonna write unless I write it now.)  
  
Lucius was right. The party was wicked, and out of control. Serverus made sure that Lily got to Gryfendore common room, but didn't know what she was going to do in there...........................  
  
~*~*~*~*~*  
  
The marauders snuck out to a new club that was in Homesmade. It was awesome. Lights, music, hot girls, anything a guy could want. He couldn't understand why Sirius and Remus left so early. That was until he heard a voice booming through the walls.  
  
"WHO IN HERE CAN SHOW SOMW IDE?" it was a ministry official.  
  
James grabbed his invisible cloak and disappeared. Her didn't reappear until he reached the common room. (A/n: this is the part that daisy silk gave me). He had just token off of his cloak when little Lily Evans came stumbling into the common room muttering. She fell over a few times.  
  
"Hey, are you ok?" asked James.  
  
"Well that all depends on what you mean. If you mean do I feel ok, then yes I do, but if you mean am I really ok, then no, I'm not." Said Lily laughing.  
  
James went over to her, looking at her strangely.  
  
"Hi!" said Lily, giggling happily, and hiccupping.  
  
"Hi." Said James, suddenly shy. "Are you sure your ok?" he asked.  
  
"Of course I am." Said Lily, in a fit of giggles.  
  
James was just about to go up to his room. Suddenly while she laughing she started puking.  
  
"Your not ok." Said James, taking out his wand.  
  
He cleaned up the puke. He then noticed she wasn't wearing her robes. She was wearing a black top with red edges that tied up in the front with black string, and a purple skirt that trailed on the floor. Her red hair trailed down her back, and her bright green eyes stuck out like emeralds. In his eyes she was beautiful. Just then she puked again.  
  
"Do you love your life?" asked Lily, suddenly.  
  
"No." answered James, curtly.  
  
"Me either." Said Lily, giggling. "Can I tell you a secret?" asked Lily, seriously.  
  
"Yeah, sure." Said James, not knowing what she was going to.  
  
"K," said Lily, giggling. She soon became seriously, though. "My mom tries to kill me."  
  
"Lily." Said James(a/n: He found out sometime after the "thing" with Malfoy) seriously. "I know your drunk, and you shouldn't tell lies."  
  
"You don't believe me?" asked Lily, looking like she was going to cry. "Well I don't care." She was laughing now. "I remember the first time." Said Lily, suddenly serious.  
  
"First time?" asked James wondering what he had got himself into.  
  
"I was 4. That probably wasn't the first time, it was just the first time that I knew of.(Bitter laugh)I walked into the kitchen when my ever-so- loving mother(sarcastic) was making my lunch, chicken soup(giggle). Then I saw(a/n: did u no that saw is was backwards? I just found that out. The blonde hair dye is sinking in from a few years ago)that there was a strange bottle on the counter(bitter laugh). I asked mum what it was and she quickly tried to hide it, but not before I saw a label on it with a scull. I was a smart kid(laugh), and went to the counter store the next day. I saw the same bottle on the shelf that mom had put in my food. I went up to the counter(giggle) and asked the man, Mr. Wheasley, what it was. He looked at me(giggle) and asked why? I said because that was what my mom put in my food and was wondering what kind of spice it was(bitter laugh). He said not to take anymore food from my mother, and that he was going to give me my meals until I could cook myself, which he was also going to teach me. I love that man more than anyone in the world, because he showed me that life wasn't fair and he was generally kind, and loved me back(puke, then flipped her hair back). I love all of my friends, and they love me back, and we all know that. We are the only people who we can actually depend on, But you knew that." Said Lily laughing, "Or at least you do now." She added. She then began sobbing, and crying her eyes out.  
  
James brought her close and whispered soothing words to her. All the while thinking 'and I thought I had it bad because people judge me, when people poison her. And I thought she was innocent....'  
  
a/n: When Lily was talking those () were what she was doing. His thoughts are probably more daisy silk's than mine. 


	3. chapter 3

Disclaimer: see chap 1(I think).  
  
Summary: Lily Evans is a goody-goody at Hogwarts, to anyone who doesn't know her. They think she's nice, innocent and sweet. Their wrong. People may think Lily has no friends in Hogwarts, and knows no-one, but they have never seen her at 'La Rave'. She usually parties all night long, but they don't know that, or do they?  
  
a/n: Hi!!!! I'm hyper!!!!!! Like really really really hyper!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So sorry if this chapter sucks!! If you have any suggestion or ideas, please give them to me!!!!! paws10081: thanks!  
  
~*~*~*~**~*~*  
  
"Lily, did you tell Potter something?" asked Lucius, as they got into a compartment on the train.  
  
"Not that I can remember." Answered Lily.  
  
"But, you could of, couldn't you?" asked Serverus.  
  
"I could've done a lot of thing, Lucius." Said Lily, coldly. "But I wouldn't have remembered any of it, now would I?" asked Lily, bitterly.  
  
"PMSing?" asked Lucius.  
  
"Nope, that was last week." Said Lily, laughing at their faces.  
  
"Eww, I did not need to know that, Lily." Said Serverus, making a grossed out face.  
  
"Why not? You asked." Said Lily, shrugging. "Why are you askin' about Potter, anyway. I don't know him."  
  
"I was just wonderin', cuz he was looking at you with pity in his eyes." Said Lucius.  
  
"What? Maybe I told him something." Said Lily, absentmindedly.  
  
"I don't know, Lily, but you might of." Said Lucius, slightly worried.  
  
"Well, then, genius, when did all of this take place?" asked Lily.  
  
"It could've happened when you were drunk. You'd tell anyone, anything, not to mention do anything, when your drunk." Serverus reminded her.  
  
Lily just shrugged.  
  
~$~$##~##~*~*~*  
  
"Hey, Prongies, old buddy, what's up?" asked Sirius.  
  
James didn't answer, he was too caught up in his thoughts to norice.  
  
"Prongs?" asked Sirius, waving a hand in front of his face.  
  
"Earth to James. Come in James." Said Remus sounding like the voice of a pilot.  
  
"We have crash landed on Uranus and can't get off." Said Sirius, joining in on the fun.  
  
"Oh, yes, and what do we have here? The world's smallest balls." Asked Remus, laughing, and sounding like a sports announcer.  
  
"Oh, I think so, Moony." Agreed Sirius, "if that." He added.  
  
Soon both boys were laughing so hard they were rolling on the floor.  
  
"What? What did I miss??" asked James, coming out of his thoughts.  
  
"You missed everything, Prongs." Said Remus, laughing.  
  
The train choose then to start, making all three boys fall over.  
  
'Another boring Christmas', thought James, as he looked out onto the hills of grass that they were passing by. 'Yet somehow I don't think it will be quite as boring this time.'  
  
James never knew how right he was.  
  
~**~*~*~*~**~*  
  
a/n: 


	4. chapter 4

Disclaimer: see otha chaps!  
  
Summary: Lily Evans is a goody-goody at Hogwarts, to anyone who doesn't know her. They think she's nice, innocent and sweet. Their wrong. People may think Lily has no friends in Hogwarts, and knows no-one, but they have never seen her at 'La Rave'. She usually parties all night long, but they don't know that, or do they?  
  
a/n: E.K. Kropp: thanks.  
  
~**~**~* *~*~**  
  
"What the hell are you doing home, bitch? It hasn't been 9 months yet." Asked Lily's "mommy".  
  
"School goes on for 10 months, and it's Christmas." Said Lily, coldly.  
  
"So what?" asked "mommy", with a sneer.  
  
"You come home for Christmas." Said Lily, like it was the most obvious thing in the world(which it was).  
  
"Don't talk to me like I'm an idiot." Said "mommy".  
  
"You are an idiot." Snapped Lily.  
  
"Alright I've heard enough. GET OUT OF MY GOD-DAMN HOUSE!" screamed "mommy.  
  
"Alright, alright, I'm going. Gods Annabelle(her "mommy") don't throw a fit." Said Lily.  
  
Annabelle("mommy") threw a glass vase at Lily. The vase stopped right before it reached Lily's head, and started going into a different direction, and smashing against a wall.  
  
"Se yas, my ever loving mother." Said Lily, both bitterly, and sarcastically.(don't ask how that possible, it is, trust me, I've done it!).  
  
~**~*~*(~**~*~  
  
"James." Called his mother sweetly.  
  
She got no reply.  
  
"James." She called again, slightly louder.  
  
Still no reply.  
  
"James Potter." Said his mother, in a risking voice.  
  
There was still no reply.  
  
"JAMES EWARD POTTER GET YOUR LAZY ASS OUT OF BED!" screamed his mother, not even slightly out of breath.  
  
James scrambled out of bed in his orange with purple bunnies boxers and a dark blue t-shirt. He fell down the stairs.  
  
"You bellowed?" he asked, out of breath.  
  
"Yes, your father wants you in his study." Said his mother, sighing.  
  
James tiredly trudged down the hall to his father's study. He knocked on the door, kind of scared. The only time his father had ever called him to his study was when he was punishing James.  
  
"Come in." called James's father.  
  
James walked in slowly.  
  
"You wanted me?" asked James, a little uncertain.  
  
"Yes, James. Your mother and I have been talking," started Mr. Potter.  
  
'That's never a good thing.' Thought James, mentally.  
  
"And we have decided to send you Mr. Rollins." Said Mr. Potter.  
  
James wracked his brain for that name. It seemed to be familiar, but he couldn't quite place it.  
  
James' father, seeing James' puzzled look quickly explained "The last time you saw him you were about 6. He was about 3 years older than you with blond hair and violet eyes."  
  
"Oh, the freaky eye dude." Said James, smiling. "He's cool."  
  
~*~*~**~**~~*  
  
"Billy." Called Lily, walking through the door of a rundown hotel.  
  
There was no response.  
  
"Billy Rollins." Called Lily, slightly louder.  
  
Soon a guy about 19 years old, with blond hair and purple eyes came out of a room wearing a pair of grey sweatpants and a light orange sweater.  
  
"Hello, Lily, darling. Back so soon?" he asked, with raised eyebrows.  
  
Lily laughed. "Shut it. My mom kicked me out, again, so I'm crashing here for awhile." Said Lily.  
  
"Cool, but someone else is going to be here, too." Said Billy.  
  
"Who?" asked Lily.  
  
In response there was a knock on the door. In came James Potter.  
  
~**~*~**~~* 


	5. chapter 5

Disclaimer: see chap 1(I think).  
  
Summary: Lily Evans is a goody-goody at Hogwarts, to anyone who doesn't know her. They think she's nice, innocent and sweet. Their wrong. People may think Lily has no friends in Hogwarts, and knows no-one, but they have never seen her at 'La Rave'. She usually parties all night long, but they don't know that, or do they?  
  
a/n: I have like no life, and no reviewed to any other fanfic, so I'm updating, again. Aren't I wonderful? Don't answer that I probably won't like the answer. I hate my English/PDR teacher! I swear that she is the source of all evil! Sorry. I'm just in a bad mood. On with the story.This is the second chapter I'm redoing.  
  
paws10081: Thanks!  
  
~*~*~Chapter 4 preview: In came James Potter.  
  
~*~*~*~**~*chappie 5.  
  
At first Lily was shocked. Then she groaned, mentally. 'Oh man. He still thinks I'm some poor Gryffindor.' She thought. 'It should be fun trying to explain my life.' She thought, sarcastically. 'Wait! I don't have to explain my life, or what I do, to anyone. Especially some stupid prankster. Although he is kinda cute..... wait!! What am I thinking? I must've took some kind of drugs on the train, or something.' She thought again, smacking herself, mentally.(a/n: that means that she did it in her head, not that she's mental, although that would give the story another twist...) She relaxed. She was Lily Evans. The druggie, the alcoholic, the slut, and all around "bad girl". She wasn't going to take shit from some rich brat. There was no way. Besides she didn't even care what he thought, right?  
  
~*~*~*~*  
  
James stopped what he was doing and just stared. There in front of him was Lily Evans. The Lily Evans. The same Lily Evans that had haunted hid thoughts since he had found out about Lily's childhood. By haunted I didn't just mean pity thoughts, which were a lot of it, but I meant evry kind of thought. They went from 'man I pity that girl' to 'I wonder if she remembers me' to even sex dreams about her. He went from not knowing she existed to sex dreams and pity thoughts in a few short months.  
  
She had also helped him out with his own mother. See, James' mother only married his father for his money, and James hated her with a passion for that. For using his father. He didn't remember her for staying up all night with him when he was scared of the 3 headed dog that his father kept in the basement. Or all the times she helped him when he was sick, instead of making some house elf do it like most mothers around. No, he never remembered stuff like that, only that she was using his father for money. Now, though, their relationship was stronger. He had apologized for everything and even cried with his mother.  
  
He quickly snapped out of his trance, and looked around the room. It was a rundown hotel, painted all in teal. James himself wasn't very found of teal, but whatever floats your boat. It was actually pretty cool. He then looked at Billy Rollins, and realized that he was just standing in the doorway. He suddenly found out that the man was staring at him, and it made him feel uncomfortable.  
  
"Err. Hi, I'm James Potter." He said, shaking the strange mans' hand.  
  
"Hello James, I'm Billy Rollins. I'm a friend of your fathers." Billy said, smiling warmly at James.  
  
'He seems like a good man.' Billy thought to himself. 'I wonder if I could set Lily up with him. She's a good girl, when needs be.' He'd keep that to himself or Lily would beat the shit out of him.  
  
"This is Lily Evans." He said, pointing to Lily, who was now reading a book.  
  
Her long red hair was down, and she was wearing a pair of sparkling brown and white pants, and what looked like a sports bra with and X across her stomach.  
  
"Lily, girl, you have got to learn how to wear real clothes, not ones that say that your not a virgin." Said Billy.  
  
"So, what? I ain't one, anyways." Snapped Lily.  
  
She hated when people thought she was a little girl. She wasn't. She was her own person. She wasn't sweet or innocent. She highly doubted that she had ever been sweet or innocent.  
  
~*~**  
  
James, after realizing what she was wearing, jaw dropped. Her body wasn't bad. Hell, somebody would date her just for her body. She wasn't afraid of what people thought, either. Most girls James had met no mind what-so ever. Well they did, but they just didn't use it. 'It's no wonder she's not a virgin, anymore.' Thought James looking at Lily one more time.  
  
~*~*~*~~*~* 


	6. 6

Disclaimer: see other chapters.  
  
Summary: Lily Evans is a goody-goody at Hogwarts, to anyone who doesn't know her. They think she's nice, innocent and sweet. Their wrong. People may think Lily has no friends in Hogwarts, and knows no-one, but they have never seen her at 'La Rave'. She usually parties all night long, but they don't know that, or do they?  
  
a/n: paws10081: thanks. I can never get tired of you saying that!  
  
*~*~*chapter 5 preview:  
  
'It's no wonder she's not a virgin, anymore.' Thought James looking at Lily one more time.  
  
~*~**~*~*chapter 6  
  
"Lily, that's just gross." Said Billy, in disgust.  
  
Lily, who was currently putting chocolate syrup on her cereal, looked up, startled.  
  
"Don't knock it 'til you try it, then knock it over." Lily said, smiling.  
  
"Whatever." Billy said although he was just to Lily not making any sense.  
  
James watched as Lily continued to pour chocolate syrup. She had more chocolate than milk it her cereal! It was supper time, at 8:00 pm. James, and Billy had an omelet, and Lily had rice crispy squares with almost a pound of sugar, and a lot of chocolate syrup. James was grossed out, to say the least.  
  
"Your not actually going to eat that, are you?" asked James, as Lily was putting sprinkles on it.  
  
"Yeah, why not?" she asked, looking up from her cereal, still pouring on sprinkles.  
  
James shook his head in disgust, as Lily put everything on her spoon and ate it. He winced.  
  
"Is it good?" he asked.  
  
"Yes." Lily said, spitting out cereal as she answered. "Do you want to try some?" she asked James, pushing a spoon close to his face.  
  
"No thanks." James said, trying not to puke.  
  
"Hey, Lily. Are you going to sing tonight?" asked Billy, trying to distract her from spilling her cereal all over James.  
  
"I don't know." Lily said, shrugging. She had given up trying to baby feed James.  
  
James was confused. 'Sing? Where would she sing?'  
  
Lily laughed. "There's a club down the street that hired me to sing, awhile ago. So whenever I want to make some extra cash I just go down there and sing whatever I want. I get free drinks, too." Said Lily, reading his mind.  
  
Lily and James started talking, and Billy just watched, amused. When Adam Potter(James' father) asked him if James could send Christmas with him he was confused. 'Why would a Potter want to be here?' he had thought, but then when Mr. Potter explained to him why, he understood. James was failing muggle studies, and knew almost nothing about them. So Adam needed someone who was muggleborn to show James how muggles live. Why had he come to Billy? Adam needed some who would not baby James, yet wouldn't force him to do anything. Most people would try to suck up to James because of who his father was, but Billy would never do that. He had too much pride to do that.  
  
Lily was an entirely different matter. She was much harder to understand. Her mother threw "fits", as Lily had once called them. During these "fits", she would scream, throw things, and most of the time kick Lily out. Lily would go wherever she wanted, but she usually came to his home. Lily had told him once (when she was drunk) that it was because it was the only home she had ever known. That had warmed his heart, although she had hurled her breakfast all over him, afterward. Billy was the person you should go to if you don't have anywhere else, but was usually the first. He knew almost every witch/wizard in England. His house was open to anyone who needed a place to stay. He had enough money to not work ever again. He was like a salvation army, if you needed it or not.  
  
~*~*~*~**  
  
"Lily, hurry up, will you?" called Billy, as him and James waited for Lily to get ready for the club.  
  
"Never rush a lady." Lily called down.  
  
"I'm not, I'm rushing you." Billy Replied.  
  
"Shut up." Came her faint reply.  
  
Although Lily would never admit it, she cared what she looked like. She would take her time, until she felt her out fit was up to her standards. 'Fuck everyone else; if you like it, it's awesome. It only matters what you think, not anybody else.' Lily recalled her best friends, Marie, words. It was true, and it was what Lily went by. Marie moved away when Lily was 7, and she still missed her. They still kept in touch, by owl.  
  
Lily looked at herself in the mirror. She had a red, flowing dress, with no straps, and put red sparkles in her red curling hair, down. She liked it. It gave her a classy, jazzy, yet sexy look. She walked down stairs, and laughed. James, was on a chair with headphones on, and was singing. Surprisingly enough his voice was not that bad. It had a jazzy, classy, yet sexy ring to it. Billy looked up, and smiled. He was wearing a baggy dark red shirt, and tight jeans. Lily went over to James, and taped him on the shoulder. He fell on the floor, startled. Lily laughed.James was wearing a tight blue, and grey shirt, and baggy brown jeans.  
  
~*~**~*~*  
  
The club was light orange, and had red, yellow and blue glow lights all around the place. There was a bar in the back, and a few tables on the side. There was a slow song playing, and a few couples were dancing. The music was pathetic, in Lily's opinion. What was it, Britney Spears? (A/n: sorry to anyone who likes Britney Spears, but I don't like her. "Honk if you love Britney Spears, then run your car into the nearest tree". Sorry...)Whoever it was, they sucked.  
  
"WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?" screamed Lily to the guy behind the bar.  
  
"Err.Music?" he asked.  
  
"Not while I'm here. "Said Lily.  
  
She grabbed a microphone, and went up on the bar. The music stopped, then a different beat came on.  
  
"I'm truly sorry to anyone who likes this shit, but I got something a little different for you."  
  
She winked at James, before she started singing.  
  
"some days I just wanna up and call it quits  
  
I feel like im surrounded by a wall of bricks  
  
Everytime I go to get up, I just fall in pits  
  
My life's likes one great big ball of sh*t  
  
If I could just, put it all in the all I spit  
  
Instead of always trying to swallow it  
  
Instead of staring at this wall and sh*t  
  
While I sit, writers block, sick of all this sh*t  
  
Cant call it sh*t, all I know is im about to hit the wall  
  
If I have to see another one of mom's alcoholic fits  
  
This is it, last straw, that's all, that's it  
  
I aint dealing with another f*ckin politic  
  
Im like a skillet bubbling until it filters up  
  
im about to kill it, I can feel it building up  
  
blow this building up, I've concealed enough  
  
my cup runneth over, I dun filled it up,  
  
the pen explodes and busts, ink spills my guts  
  
you think all I do is stand here and feel my nuts,  
  
well imma show you what, you gonna feel my rush  
  
you don't feel it, then it must be too real to touch  
  
p, im about to tear sh*t up  
  
goosebumps, yeah, imma make your hairs sit up  
  
yeah sit up, imma tell you who I be  
  
imma make you hate me, cos you aint me  
  
you wait, it aint too late to finally see  
  
what you closed-minded f*cks, what you blind to see  
  
whoever finds me is gonna get a finders fee  
  
out this world, aint no one out there mind as me  
  
u need peace of mind? Here's a piece of mine  
  
all I need's a line,  
  
but sometimes I don't always find the words to rhyme  
  
to express how Im really feeling at that time, yea  
  
sometimes, sometimes, sometimes just sometimes, it's always me  
  
how dark can these hallways be?  
  
The clock strikes midnight, one, two, then half past three  
  
This half-assed rhyme, with this half-assed piece Of paper,  
  
im desperate at my desk  
  
If I could just get the rest of this sh*t off my chest again  
  
Stuck in a slum, can't think of nothing  
  
F*ck im stuck, but wait, here comes something  
  
Nope, not good enough, scribble it out, new pad,  
  
drink a lid up and throw the sh*t out  
  
im fizzling out, thought I figured it out  
  
ball's in my court, but im scared to dribble it out  
  
im afraid, but why am I afraid, why am I a slave to this trade?  
  
Sign that I spit to the grave, real enough to rowl you up  
  
Want me to flip it, I can rip it any style you want  
  
Ima switch, hit a b*tch, jimmy smith aint a quitter  
  
ima sit it here till i get enough of me to finally hit  
  
a f*cking boiling point, put some oil on your joints,  
  
flip the coin b*tch, come get destroyed,  
  
an emcees worst dream, i make em jinx,  
  
they hate me, see me and shake like a changling fence,  
  
by the looks of em you would swear that jaws was comin,  
  
by the screams of him, you would swear im sawwin someone,  
  
by the way they running, you would swear the law was comin,  
  
Its now or never, and tonight its all or nothing,  
  
mama jimmy keeps leaving on us, he said hed be back,  
  
he pinky promised, i dont think hes honest,  
  
ill be back baby, i just gotta beat this clock  
  
f*ck this clock, ima make them eat this watch,  
  
dont believe me watch, ima win this race,  
  
and ima come back and rub my sh*t in your face b*tch,  
  
i found my nitch, you gunna hear my voice,  
  
till ur sick of it, you aint gunna have a choice,  
  
if I gotta scream till I have half a lung,  
  
If I have half a chance ill grab it, Rabbit Run..." she sang. a/n: The song belongs to Eminem. Ok, I didn't do very much to this chapter but I really don't care. I like it. 


	7. chapter 7

Disclaimer: see other chapters.  
  
Summary: Lily Evans's life is a piece of shit. James is a prankster. He is popular, and a nice guy. Lily isn't what she seems. James finds that out one night when she's "not herself". What happens next?  
  
A/n: James gets to sing next ;). This chapter is rated R for safety, although it's not that bad.  
  
paws10081: lol. If your crazy, than I'm insane (although I probably am). Thanks so much!  
  
*~*~*~**~*~chapter 6 preview: Rabbit Run..." she sang.  
  
~*~*~*chapter 7:  
  
The club then went deistic. There was dancing, singing, screaming, cheering, it was beyond anything that James had ever seen in his life. Half naked woman, not to mention beautiful(although he thought Lily looked the best). There was free alcohol, drugs, and things James had never seen ever before. He was sure no-one else in London would ever let someone sing on a bar. Of course he had Lily to thank for this. He would never have had an experience like this had he been at home. He'd probably be reading a book or something like that.  
  
"Hey James, do you want to sing?" Called Lily.  
  
"Sure." James called back.  
  
He went up to the bar and got on.  
  
"What're you going to sing?" asked Lily.  
  
"TP-2' by R-Kelly." Said James.  
  
Lily smiled, wickedly. "Sweet." She said.  
  
"What?" asked James, worried.  
  
"Do you mind if I dance while you sing?" asked Lily, with an "innocent" smile.  
  
"No." said James, slowly.  
  
He didn't know what he had gotten into. Lily smiled. 'This is going to be fun.' Thought Lily 'especially since he's cute.'  
  
"Hey everybody this is James Potter, and he's going to sing." There were cheers, while she said this.  
  
"Hit it hard from the back." Lily went behind James and pressed up against him.  
  
"Roll around on the front." She latterly rolled with one of her legs in between both of his legs and pressed up against him, dancing so that she was in between his crotch.  
  
"I know you've heard a lot of tracks But 12 Play is what you want Just let me call the studio Then we can go all night" Lily pressed closer against him, and went slowly up and down a little bit while her legs came out from behind his.  
  
"Girl I hope you can hang Cause I'm horny as hell tonight" Lily put her arms around his neck, as she felt a "bump" against her.  
  
"One Taking off your Secrets with my teeth." James's hands to her ass and felt for her thong. Lily almost laughed, he was catching on quickly.  
  
"Two Slightly rough to let you know it's about to get kinky." James leaned forward, so that Lily fell into him and had to hang onto his shirt, which was threatening to rip.  
  
"Three Blind your eyes, then I walk you to my bedroom." James went behind Lily and put his hands on her eyes, and walked to the other end of the bar.  
  
"Four Now open your eyes Surprise you've entered twelve play two" Lily turned around and bended down(as much as she could) showing him down her shirt.  
  
"Stop We need to catch our breath "They backed away from each other.  
  
"We've been going for a while It's been about two hours And we're still going round for round" Lily went over to James, and put her hands on his ass so that both of their privets were going in a circle motion.  
  
"The water's getting cold And the movie's going off This is how we do in TP-2" Lily winked at James, and he winked back. 'this might actually be a fun Christmas.' thought Lily, with a smile.  
  
"Five I'm about to take you for a ride Now feel it come inside" James bent down so that he was holding Lily up and his legs were around her.  
  
"Six Baby it's as hard as a brick Tell me can you feel this sh, sh, sh" Lily pushed James up and put her hands in front of his pants, and rubbed.  
  
"Seven That's when to slow it down Cause I'm not ready to" James took Lily's hands and put them around his neck.  
  
"Eight We're almost at the peak Cause I'm feeling tingly" James leaned into Lily and rubbed her ass.  
  
"Now flew your body like, what (what, what)" Lily thrust forward, twice.  
  
"It's like diamonds with the cut (cut, cut) The hottest out of your friends The way you take it from me" Lily rubbed James's ass, and leaned into him.  
  
"Girl you put it on me like draws Moaning when you talk" Lily actually moaned out loud.  
  
"I'm about to tear your shit out New millennium style" James put his hands on her back, undoing her bra.  
  
"Nine Lookin' you in your eyes As I'm about to do that thing" James looked at Lily's face and took her bra off.  
  
"Ten Then on down to your thighs" He dropped her bra, and rubbed her thighs.  
  
"I'm gonna make you scream" Lily screamed.  
  
"Eleven Now put your body on top of me" Lily leaned into James and he went back, a little.  
  
"I'm about to grab your waist" James put his hands around her waist.  
  
"Twelve Now quick before we get to thirteen Set it on my face" Lily kissed James on the mouth, passionately.  
  
Everyone started cheering, wolf whistling, and cat calling, as Lily and James pulled apart. 'Wow.' Thought Lily. 'I could get used to that.'. James was thinking along those lines.  
  
*~*~*~*  
  
a/n: I didn't think that was too bad, but you know. I just felt like writing some chemistry. Again I didn't do much to that but I like this chapter. 


	8. chapter 8

Disclaimer: see the first ever chapter of "The inner workings of Lily Evans twisted mind" if you would like to see the "Disclaimer".  
  
Summary: Lily Evans's life is a piece of shit. James is a prankster. He is popular, and a nice guy. Lily isn't what she seems. James finds that out one night when she's "not herself". What happens next?  
  
A/n: Night: Thanks, my life isn't as bad as Lily's was.  
  
paws10081: Thanks. I've been saying that crazy people rule all my life!  
  
`*~*~*~**~  
  
"Your not bad at that." Said Lily and she hopped off the bar.  
  
"At what?" asked James.  
  
"Dancing." Answered Lily.  
  
"Thanks." Said James.  
  
"Although you suck at singing." Said Lily, laughing.  
  
"I do not." Protested James, trying to look hurt, but failing and laughing.  
  
"Yes, you do." Said Lily, trying to look seriously, but also failing.  
  
"Then why did everyone like it?" asked James, looking determined.  
  
"James, I'm not sure if you've noticed, but every one is drunk." Lily said the last part, slowly. "There was also dirty dancing. If we had been doing that to 'Happy Birthday' they wouldn't have noticed the difference." She added, with a laugh.  
  
"Good point, but there is one thing that you didn't count." Said James, with a mischief look in his eye that only a Murderer (the group at Hogwarts, not a real murderer) could have.  
  
"Oh, yeah, what's that?" asked Lily, with curiosity.  
  
"I still have your bra." Said James, pulling out a lime green, strapless bra.  
  
James didn't know that what came out of Lily's mouth even existed. Apparently he was wrong. It was somewhere between a squeal and a scream.  
  
"James, give it back." Said Lily, warningly.  
  
"Why? I think it's a nice bra, silk, I think." Said James, with a wicked smile.  
  
Lily didn't answer, instead she ran over to him, and jumped on him.  
  
"LILY WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?" yelled James.  
  
"Getting my bra back, what do you think?" asked Lily. James was about to answer. "Don't answer that. I don't want to know." Added Lily.  
  
Lily leaned over to James and fell into his arms. She tried grabbing the hand that had her bra, but he passed it to his other hand. It went on like that for awhile.  
  
Billy laughed as he watched Lily and James. James always had girls falling at his feet, so Lily was something different, a good different. Lily was used to having guys either blush or touch, so James was something else, something still good. They were teasing each other, but how far would teasing go?  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
"Hey Lily." said James.  
  
"Yeah?" Asked Lily.  
  
"Do you have any Irish in you?" asked James.  
  
"No." said Lily, looking at him like he was crazy (which he was).  
  
"Would you like some?" asked James, with a sly grin.  
  
"Yeah, sure." Said Lily.  
  
"Want some more?" asked James with a wink.  
  
"Shut up, James. I need a drink. Want one?" asked Lily.  
  
"Sure." Said James.  
  
"Then C'mon because I'm not getting it." Said Lily.  
  
James followed Lily to the bar. Lily went behind the counter. She took out about 3 different types of alcohol.  
  
"What are those?" asked James.  
  
"This is strait licker." Said Lily, pointing to the smallest bottle. "This is vodka." She said pointing to the next bottle. " and this." Said Lily pointing to the third, and biggest bottle. "This I'm not sure, but its fucking good." She said, taking a big drink out of it.  
  
She put all three of those in a big glass, and downed it.  
  
"Want some?" asked Lily, already pouring him a glass.  
  
"Sure." Said James, shrugging.  
  
The biggest mistake you can make, is taking alcohol from Lily. James was about to find that out.  
  
~*~*~*~*  
  
a/n: The pick-up line came from - pages.com/jokes/pickuplines.asp . 


	9. i wanna be bad

Summary: Lily Evans is a goody-goody at Hogwarts, to anyone who doesn't know her. They think she's nice, innocent and sweet. Their wrong. People may think Lily has no friends in Hogwarts, and knows no-one, but they have never seen her at 'La Rave'. She usually parties all night long, but they don't know that, or do they?  
  
A/n: Night: Thanks, nope that's just as life goes, you have no choice but to go with it.  
  
gryffspopgurl: Sorry!  
  
*~*~*~*  
  
James had never actually been drunk. He's tried alcohol, of course, as any 16-year-old has, but he had never been drunk. Now he was. Him and Lily. Lily had been drunk lots of times, but does crazy things. Apparently so does James. They were screaming at each other, then telling normal people to mind their own business. James got on the bar, and did a strip tease, but only taking off his shirt. He fell off before he could take anything else off.  
  
"Lily do you have a mirror in your pocket?" asked James, getting up from the ground.  
  
"I don't know, why?" asked Lily, taking a huge drink out of a bottle of something, or other.  
  
"'Cause I could see myself in your pants." Said James, looking down Lily's shirt when she bent over.  
  
"Really? How? I'm wearing a dress." Asked Lily, laughing.  
  
"Don't know, don't care." Said James, walking over to Lily.  
  
"I want to sing." Said Lily.  
  
"Then sing." Said James.  
  
"Alright I will." Said Lily, drunkenly getting onto a table. "This is for you." Said Lily, pointing to James.  
  
James wolf-whistled (or tried to), and got on the table with her.  
  
"Oh, I, I ...I  
  
I wanna be bad witcha baby  
  
I, I, I, I, I wanna be bad with ya baby" sang Lily as she put her hand on his chest, and the other on the front of his pants.  
  
"Do you  
  
Understand what I need  
  
From you" Lily put both hands around his neck, and wrapped her legs around his middle. He put his hands on her ass.  
  
"Just let me be the girl  
  
To show you, you  
  
Everything that you can be  
  
Is everything that I can be (I wanna be)" Lily got off James and rubbed up against him.  
  
"My turn  
  
Let me let you know that I, I can't  
  
Promise that I won't do that" Lily pulled away, and then spun, drunkenly (almost falling off of the table), into James, who caught her, by the ass.  
  
"so, boy  
  
State the time and place  
  
'Cause you make me wanna misbehave" Lily put her leg in-between James' legs and rubbed her leg up against in detween his legs.  
  
"I wanna be bad (bad)  
  
You make bad look so good" Lily ran her fingers threw James's hair.  
  
"I've got things on my mind  
  
I never thought I would" She pressed into him, and he put his hands on her ass.  
  
"I, I wanna be bad (bad)  
  
You make bad feel so good" James bent over, taking Lily with him, and then fell onto of her "accidentally".  
  
"I'm losing all my cool  
  
I'm about to break the rules  
  
I, I wanna be bad  
  
I wanna be bad witcha, baby  
  
I, I, I, I, I wanna be bad, baby" Lily was underneath of him.  
  
"What's up?  
  
Tell me what to do" she put her hands on his chest.  
  
"How to be  
  
Teach me all your words from A to Z  
  
But I  
  
Don't want your other girl to see" James got up, and Lily sat there, for a second, looking around. "That you messin' around with me  
  
Should I flaunt?" Lily got up and struted (almost falling, but regaining her balance), and went over to James.  
  
"Tell ya what I got is what ya want?  
  
Tell, tell me, do I, I turn you on?" Lily bent over James, giving him a good look down her dress.  
  
"Don't want no one judging me" She turned around, so that she was facing the bar(and not James).  
  
"I wanna be bad (bad)  
  
You make bad look so good (Ooh)  
  
I've got things on my mind (Ohh)  
  
I never thought I would (Never thought I would)" James wrapped his arms around her waist, and put his head on her shoulder.  
  
"I, I wanna be bad (bad)  
  
You make bad look so good  
  
I'm losing all my cool  
  
I'm about to break the rules (About to break the rules, boy)  
  
I, I wanna be bad" Lily turned around so that James was hugging her, and rubbed up against him.  
  
"James Interlude:  
  
Lily, Lily, Lily, whatcha want, whatcha want?  
  
Lily, Lily, Lily, whatcha want? (Come and get it from me)"James rubbed Lily's ass.  
  
"Is it him, the criminal with the Stan look? (Uh)" James took Lily's head and turned it around(taking her whole body with him), and put massaged her boobs with his hand.  
  
"Do you need a real shady to.. (Please stand up)  
  
Or is it me, the criminal in the V, that never pretend to be nothin' other than a.. (Bad boy)" Lily wiggled her ass up against him.  
  
"If you say you want me, tell me how you gon' be." James turned Lily around.  
  
"(Hey, James) Yo.  
  
(I wanna be bad) C'mon. (Oh, yeah)" Lily moved into James.  
  
"I, I Wanna be bad (bad)  
  
You make bad so good  
  
I got things on my mind, I never thought I would (I never thought, I never thought I would)  
  
I wanna be bad (bad)" Lily put her hands on his chest and bent into him, sliding down.  
  
"You make bad feel so good (You make bad look so good)  
  
I'm losing all my cool (You make bad feel so good)  
  
I m about to break the rules (About to break, about to break the rules)" She rustled James' hair.  
  
"I Wanna be bad (bad)  
  
You make bad look so good  
  
I got things on my mind, I never thought I would  
  
I, I Wanna be bad (bad)  
  
You make bad feel so good  
  
I'm losing all my cool (Cool)  
  
I'm about to break the rules  
  
I, I Wanna be bad" Lily was lying on the table by now.  
  
James' hair was messed up (more than usually), and he was breathing hard. He laid down beside Lily(halfway on top of her), and put his arms around her. They both passed out before anything else could happen.  
  
*~*~*~*~*  
  
A/n: The song is by Willa Ford, and the pick up line is from www.joke- pages.com/jokes/pickuplines.asp. 


	10. chapter 10

Disclaimer: you no where it's at!  
  
Summary: Lily Evans is a goody-goody at Hogwarts, to anyone who doesn't know her. They think she's nice, innocent and sweet. Their wrong. People may think Lily has no friends in Hogwarts, and knows no-one, but they have never seen her at 'La Rave'. She usually parties all night long, but they don't know that, or do they?  
  
A/n: paws10081: That's a really good idea, but I've already written a lot of it. See, this story was deleted because I put a swear word I the summary, so I had to post it all over again. I got to chapter 14 or 15. I'll probably use that idea when I have to write again! Thanks.  
  
Excalibur: Thanks. I think I will.  
  
Night: I know, life does suck, but that's all we got! Thanks.  
  
~*~*~**~  
  
Lily woke up with sun in her eyes. She instantly shut them, and snuggled into the covers. They were warmer than usually, and incredibly soft, although her bed seemed hard, and something was stuck into her back. She groaned, and tried to get back to sleep. Her head hurt. 'What the hell did I do last night?' thought Lily. The last thing she remember was offering James a drink. 'Shit! James! What happened to him? I should get up, but I'm so comfortable.' She heard someone moan, as she snuggled her body into the covers. She sat up strait. She looked down at herself, then James. 'Well at least we aren't naked.' She thought.  
  
"James." Said Lily, shaking him slightly.  
  
James rolled over, on top of Lily. Lily rolled her eyes.  
  
"James." Said Lily slightly louder.  
  
James groaned and Lily felt his hands move to her boobs. There was a smile on his face.  
  
"James!" said Lily, pushing him onto the floor.  
  
James grins up from the ground. "You're so hot you would make the devil sweat." ()  
  
"I lost my virginity to him, too." Said Lily, coldy.  
  
"What are you talking about?" asked James, not smiling anymore.  
  
"Nothing." Said Lily, quickly.  
  
James was about to say something when Billy came in.  
  
"And what have you two been doing?" he asked, with a mischief look in his smile.  
  
"Humping like monkeys, that is until we were so rudely interrupter." Said Lily, pretending to glare.  
  
"Sorry." Said Billy, shrugging.  
  
"It's 'k" said James, from the ground. "We were just finishing up, anyways."  
  
"I can tell." Said Billy, with raised eyebrows.  
  
"James, where's my bra?" asked Lily, looking down giving James a good look down her shirt.  
  
"Not on." Observed James.  
  
"No shit, Sherlock." Said Lily, sarcastically.  
  
James went under the table, and found a pale green silk bra. "Is this what your looking for?" asked James, smiling slyly.  
  
"Yes, now give it back." Snapped Lily.  
  
"How much do you want this?" asked James, hanging it up by one of the straps in front of her face and pulling it back when she tried to get.  
  
"A hell of a lot more than you do." Retorted Lily.  
  
"How would you know that?" Lily was about to answer, when James said. "Don't answer that. I'll tell you what, if you can get this from me you can have it." Said James, slyly.  
  
"Deal." Said Lily, also smiling.  
  
'What the hell have I gotten myself into?' Thought James, as Lily hopped off of the table.  
Lily grinned. 'This should be fun.' Thought Lily, as James gulped. She went over to James and put one hand on his back, and the other on his ass. She kissed his cheek, then worked her way around his jaw. She licked his ear, sliding her tongue in and out. While she was doing this she tried to get the bra that was in his hand. He smiled against her, and put the bra out of reach. She smiled. 'Not as bad as I thought' thought Lily. The hand that was on his ass, moved around to the front of his pants, and rubbed. Her lips make it to his neck, and she kissed it, slowly until she found a sensitive spot, when she sucked. James moaned. Lily smiled and grabbed her bra. She kissed his lips tenderly, and then pulled away.  
  
"Thanks." Said Lily smirking.  
  
"It was worth it." Said James, closing his eyes.  
  
'It sure as hell was.' Thought Lily.  
  
*~*~*~**~* 


	11. chapter 11

Disclaimer: see other chapters.  
  
Summary: Lily Evans is a goody-goody at Hogwarts, to anyone who doesn't know her. They think she's nice, innocent and sweet. Their wrong. People may think Lily has no friends in Hogwarts, and knows no-one, but they have never seen her at 'La Rave'. She usually parties all night long, but they don't know that, or do they?  
  
A/n:  
  
FLibBiBeR: Thanks.  
  
zebra Eyez: Thanks. I love those songs too! I love the saying no shit Sherlock, I say it all the time!  
  
Latin-SlytherinMuggle: I would make them longer, but I've already written them. I had this on fanfiction.net but they deleted this because I had a swer word in the summary, so I posted it again. Thanks.  
  
paws10081: Yup I changed the summary!  
  
Excalibur: Thanks. Your making me hungry! Lol.  
  
Life, Love Sanity: Thanks. You could put it that way, lol.  
  
~*~**~*~  
  
The first thing Lily did when she got home (I call home wherever I'm staying, so) was take a long hot bath. She had always loved the bathroom in her room. The walls were a light blue, and the bathtub was an old English (duh) one. You could fill it up to the top, and it wouldn't drain (I wish my bathtub did that(). There was a small mirror above the sink, and there was no shower. The floor was covered in green titles. Bubble baths could always take Lily's mind off of things. The bubbles were scented in lilies, and strawberries, Lily's favorite fruit. She didn't always take baths because she was depressed, it was comforting. She must've been there a half an hour when James walked in. He walked over to the toilet and unzipped his pants.  
  
"You wanted something?" asked Lily.  
  
James froze and zipped up his pants (kind of hard). He slowly turned around. He was met with an awkward, for James, sight. Lily was never awkward, that he knew of. She was always calm and collected, to him. James felt something in his pants. There was Lily lying in a bathtub, naked. Of course there were bubbles covering any exposed skin, but just the fact that he knew she had nothing on sent cold chills down his back.  
  
"Besides you?" asked James.  
  
"Exactly." Said Lily, sitting up slightly, teasing him.  
  
James was about to leave when he remembered something.  
  
"Lily what did you mean when you said you lost your virginity to the devil." Asked James.  
  
Lily looked down. "Like I said 'nothing'"  
  
"Lily you can tell me. I won't tell anyone, I promise." Said James looking at Lily with concern.  
  
"Alright I'll tell you. Just let me get dressed." Said Lily, looking up.  
  
James didn't move. She glared at him. He just winked. She picked up a bar of soap and threw it at him. It hit him in the back.  
  
"Alright, Alright. I'm leaving. You don't have to throw anything at me." Said James, trying to rub the spot on his back where she hit him with the soap.  
  
James sat down outside the bathroom door. The door was opened just a little bit. He peeked in, and saw Lily in just a fluffy pink (I hate that color) bath towel. It looked like she was about to drop the towel.  
  
"Do you really think I would drop this towel with you watching?" asked Lily, with a smirk on her face.  
  
She changed into a sparkle blue dress with spaghetti straps that went to her ankles. It was low cut, and had no back. She got out of the bathroom with her hair up in a loose bun. She walked out of the bathroom to find James knocked out cold.  
  
"How can you sleep, when you just woke up?" she asked, more to herself.  
  
She knelt down beside him and blew in his ear. James shuddered.  
  
"Jamey" whispered Lily into his ear.  
  
James groaned. Lily grinned. 'This is going to be fun.' She thought. She moved closer and touched his cock. He sat up strait.  
  
"What the hell?" asked James sleepily.  
  
"It worked!" exclaimed Lily, laughing.  
  
"What do you mean? Like trying to seduce me woke me up? Good job." Said James, sarcastically.  
  
"Thank you." Said Lily, still laughing at her little prank.  
  
~**~**~*  
  
James and Lily sat down on Lily's bed.  
  
"So what did you want to know, again?" asked Lily looking at James.  
  
"How did you loose your virginity to the devil?" asked James.  
  
"It started when I was 13. It was summertime, and my friends and I went to a party. There I met a guy. He seemed really nice." Lily stopped and wiped the tears in her eyes on her hand. "Anyway we had sex. After that he dumped me. Just like that. I found out I was pregnant a month later. It was probably the only good thing to come into my life. A month later the guy came back. I told him I was pregnant. He threw me down a set of stairs. That was when me and Lucius, and Serverus became friends."  
  
Lily was sobbing and shaking by that time. James brought her closer and she cried onto his chest.  
  
"Why me, James?" asked Lily, looking up at him with tears in her eyes.  
  
"Because it has to happen to someone, And these things happen to the best of people." Said James, stroking her hair.  
  
~**~*~**~* 


	12. chap sumthin or otha

Disclaimer: It's somewhere in the story, look.  
  
Summary: Lily Evans is a goody-goody at Hogwarts, to anyone who doesn't know her. They think she's nice, innocent and sweet. Their wrong. People may think Lily has no friends in Hogwarts, and knows no-one, but they have never seen her at 'La Rave'. She usually parties all night long, but they don't know that, or do they?  
  
A/n:  
  
paws10081: Thanks.  
  
Latin-SlytherinMuggle: I update this faster than everything else, but I want to know if people are reading this before I update. Thanks.  
  
Excalibur: Thanks. Now you've made me hungry. Everyone goes a little mad sometimes.  
  
Night: Thanks. The evil dude is an evil dude. I can't tell you anymore about it. I've done that before!  
  
me: Thanks, lol.  
  
Life, Love Sanity: Thanks, I know, their the perfect couple!  
  
~~**~**~*  
  
"What do you want to do tonight boys?" asked Lily, walking down the stairs, that night.  
  
"I don't know about you but I have a date." Said Billy.  
  
"Really?" asked Lily, with raised eye brows.  
  
"Yeah." Said Billy, blushing.  
  
"With who?" asked Lily.  
  
Billy muttered something under his breath.  
  
"What was that?" asked Lily, smirking.  
  
"Matt." Said Billy, turning a deep crimson (that's red, right?)  
  
Lily smiled. "Don't do anything that I would do." Said Lily.  
  
Billy was about to reply when there was a knock on the door. Billy, who was in a red robe, answered the door. There was guy standing there, in a white robe, who had green hair.  
  
"Hey, Matt." Said Lily.  
  
"Hey, Lil. A new one?" asked Matt, indicating to James.  
  
Lily shrugged. "We'll see."  
  
~*~*~*~*  
  
When Billy and Matt had left James turned to Lily.  
  
"Billy's gay?" asked James.  
  
"Yeah, why?" asked Lily, protectively.  
  
"Just asking. It doesn't matter to me." Said James.  
  
"Good." Said Lily.  
  
"What do you want to do tonight?" asked James.  
  
"Lets watch a movie." Said Lily.  
  
"Huh? What's that?" asked James(remember he's pureblood).  
  
Lily laughed and James glared at him.  
  
"Sorry, it's just.. Ah never mind. It's like there's a screen and pictures are on it of people or things, and stuff like that. It's kind of like a wizard picture except it happened before hand. Most of its fiction, but some of it's not." Explained Lily.  
  
"Ok. I still don't get it, though." Said James, shaking his head.  
  
"I'll show you." Said Lily, dragging James to a video store.  
  
~**~**~  
  
When they got there it was packed. Guys and girls everywhere.  
  
"Hey Lily?" asked James.  
  
"Yeah?" asked Lily.  
  
"Congratulations! You've been voted "Most Beautiful Girl In This Room"  
and the grand prize is a night with me!" said James in a conductors  
voice.  
  
Lily laughed. "Thanks, but your still not getting any." She added.  
  
"Damn." Swore James under his breath.  
  
"So, what kind of movie do you want?" asked Lily.  
  
"I don't know. What kinds are there?" asked James.  
  
"Stop me when you find one you like. Romance." Started Lily.  
  
James made a screwed up face.  
  
"Guess not. Ok well what about horror?" asked Lily.  
  
James nodded.  
  
~****~*~**~*~* 


	13. ideas are welcomed

Disclaimer: Do we really have to go though this again?! IT'S IN THE FIRST GOD DAMN CHAPTER!  
  
Summary: Lily Evans is a goody-goody at Hogwarts, to anyone who doesn't know her. They think she's nice, innocent and sweet. Their wrong. People may think Lily has no friends in Hogwarts, and knows no-one, but they have never seen her at 'La Rave'. She usually parties all night long, but they don't know that, or do they?  
  
A/N: This is the last chapter that I wrote already, so it will take longer to put up the next chapter. Any ideas would be VERY helpful because it might take me a bit to get into the story again.  
  
paws10081: Thanks.  
  
Night: Yeah, I like basically all movies, expect boring ones with poor acting, of course this all depends my mood. How do you know the evil dude isn't already dead? Hopefully I didn't write that he wasn't because I haven't looked at that chapter in a long time! Thanks.  
  
Excalibur: Thanks. That's good because I'm on a diet so I can't eat a lot of the stuff you say. I can't wait until summer, that's when we get out of school. We're in it right now, and it sucks.  
  
Chapter 12 preview: "Guess not. Ok well what about horror?" asked Lily.  
  
James nodded.  
  
~**~**~*  
  
"What movie did we get?" asked James. "Please don't tell me it's a chick flick."  
  
"It's not a chick flick. It's Steven King. Rose Red(I don't know when that movie came out, but I love it!)." said Lily.  
  
She went over to the TV, they were at the hotel, and turned it on. The news was on.  
  
"Wow." Was all James could say.  
  
"Ok, find something on TV. I have to get changed." Said Lily.  
  
James didn't answer.  
  
Lily went upstairs to her room. She looked in her closet. She wanted something comfortable, yet kind of sluttish. The truth was she was kind of, ok that was an understatement, she was getting to really like James. More than she usually liked a guy and that didn't happen often. She picked out a striped gold and black top that tied up on one side, and a pair of black jazz pants. She left her hair down. Lily looked at her self in the mirror. She nodded. She also noted that if she leaned over to one side you could see down her top. She walked down the stairs to find James arguing with the TV.  
  
"James, what are you doing?" asked Lily.  
  
"He's talking to me! He started it!" Whined James, pointing to the TV.  
  
"How is he talking to you?" asked Lily.  
  
"Well, who else was he talking to? I was the only person here!" said James.  
  
"Never mind. Let's just watch the movie." Said Lily, shaking her head.  
  
~*~**~*~  
  
Lily sat next to James on the couch. James looked over at her. 'Wow' he thought. He looked her up and down.  
  
"What?" asked Lily.  
  
"What?" repeated James.  
  
"Why were you looking at me?" asked Lily.  
  
"Because I wanted to." Said James.  
  
"Whatever." Muttered Lily.  
  
During one of the really scary parts of the movie Lily buried her head in James sweater. He put his arm around her.  
  
"Is it over?" asked Lily, about a minute later.  
  
"Yep." Said James.  
  
She took her head away from his sweater. He didn't move his arm, and she didn't mind. James fell asleep before the movie was over. His head rested on top of hers.  
  
"JAMES! WAKE UP!" screamed Lily in his ear, knowing he wouldn't wake up if she didn't.  
  
James opened his eyes, but didn't move.  
  
"Hi." He said, sleepily.  
  
"James you have to let me go, so I can go to bed." Said Lily.  
  
"Nope." Said James, holding her tighter.  
  
"What do you mean 'nope'?" asked Lily.  
  
"I mean I'm not letting you go tonight." Said James.  
  
"James this isn't funny." Said Lily.  
  
"I'm not laughing." Responded James.  
  
"Fine. Will you at least let me get changed?" asked Lily.  
  
James loosened his arm around her. When she got up he followed her. She didn't notice until she got to her room.  
  
"James get out!" said Lily, pointing to the door.  
  
James left.  
  
Lily grabbed a grey spaghetti strapped top, and a black slip(that's like a mini-skirt you wear to bed, right?). She went into the bathroom because she knew James was looking through the door hole. When she got out she found James lying on her bed.  
  
"James get off my bed." Said Lily.  
  
James didn't move.  
  
"Fine. You win." Said Lily, and she climbed into bed.  
  
~*~**~ 


	14. getting even closer

~the inner workings of Lily Evans twisted mind~  
  
Disclaimer: Fuck off. I now it's in here somewhere. Look.  
  
Summary: Lily Evans is a goody-goody at Hogwarts, to anyone who doesn't know her. They think she's nice, innocent and sweet. Their wrong. People may think Lily has no friends in Hogwarts, and knows no-one, but they have never seen her at 'La Rave'. She usually parties all night long, but they don't know that, or do they?  
  
a/n: I have to write this chapter so sorry if it takes too long. Ideas are welcomed.  
  
WARNING: This chapter will contain graphic sex. If you don't like that don't read this chapter. It's as simple as that.  
  
paws10081: Thanks.  
  
Uglinessrox55: Thanks.  
  
Latin-SlytherinMuggle: Thanks. I took your suggestion. Enjoy. ;)  
  
Excalibur: Thanks. I hate school. I get perfect marks in social studies and computer class, but I think I'm failing science, gym, and PDR. Everything else is iffy. I don't take music, I take home ec and computers instead.  
  
Zebra Eyez: Thanks. I got that from my dad, he talks to the TV all the time, I almost broke my computer before, and I yell at it a lot. It might take me longer to update now that I have to write again. Before I didn't have to because I had it already written, but this is how far I got. I hope it doesn't take too long.  
  
FEAngel258: Thanks.  
  
me: Thanks. You'll just have to wait and see (or read). ;)  
  
nobody important: Thanks.  
  
Night: Thanks. Lol. So basically you want the evil dude dead right? He might come into the story at some point or not. I'm not quite sure yet.  
  
Chapter 13 preview: "Fine. You win." Said Lily, and she climbed into bed.  
  
~*~**~*~*  
  
James had token off his shirt and was lying only in his jeans and boxers. Lily could see that he had a really nice six pack. 'Quidditch does the body well.' Thought Lily, silently praising anything that could have gave him that body. James moved closer to Lily.  
  
"I love winning." He said quietly.  
  
Lily looked up into his eyes, and kissed him. It started out as a tender kiss, but soon grew passionate. James' tongue begged entrance into Lily's mouth and she slightly parted her lips. When James broke the kiss to breath he looked into Lily's eyes. She knew that look. It said he wanted her, badly. Lily smiled and nodded.  
  
"Are you sure?" asked James.  
  
"Sure as hell is hot." Said Lily.  
  
James smiled as he kissed he again, and put his hands into her shirt. Lily moaned as he began to massaged her erect nipples. James took off her shirt admiring the part of body he could see. He kissed his way down her neck, sucking slowly on her sensitive spots. He kissed down her chest and stopped on her left nipple. He looked up at her to as to ask if it was ok.  
  
"Go on." She urged.  
  
James kissed around Lily's nipple and sucked softly until it was red, and hard. He ravished unto it with his mouth while his other hand massaged her other nipple. He did the same treatment to the right one. By the time he was done Lily was breathing hard.  
  
"My turn." She smiled evilly.  
  
"I don't mind." Said James, lying on his back.  
  
Lily got on top of him and slowly slid her way down his chest making sure her nipples rubbed against his chest. She got off of him to unto his pants and slide them off. She laughed. His boxers had little red hearts all over them.  
  
"My mom picked them out." Muttered James embarrassed.  
  
Lily laughed again. "I think there very cute." She said.  
  
"They're not cute, there manly." James corrected her.  
  
"Oh yes. Very manly." Said Lily in a seductive voice.  
  
She slowly pushed them off. She rubbed his erect dick and licked the top of it. James groaned. She licked slowly down it. She then took it in her mouth and began to suck hard and fast, knowing it would make him go wild. It did. James moaned as white liquid poured into Lily's mouth. Lily swallowed, hard. James smiled seductively and pushed back on top of Lily. He pushed her slip off. She was wearing black thongs, with silver letters that said 'evil'. He smiled.  
  
"Hey, at least I don't have hearts on my underwear." Said Lily.  
  
"Says who?" asked James, seductively.  
  
Lily didn't know what that meant but she didn't care. He slipped them off too. He stood over her for a second, just staring at her. Every part of her body was amazing. He smiled tenderly at her. He slipped a finger into her folds. Then another one. He began pumping his fingers in and out, rubbing her folds as he went. He looked up at Lily. The look on her face aroused him to hell and back. He took out his fingers and licked them. He swirled his tongue into her opening and she moaned. He moved his tongue in and out, tasting her. Lily moaned, loudly, and then started panting.  
  
"Are you on the birth control potion?" asked James, breathing heavily.  
  
"Yes." Panted Lily.  
  
James entered her and Lily wrapped her legs around him, creating more pleasure. James began thrusting forward, slowly at first, than harder and faster.  
  
"Lily." Moaned James loudly, very close to a climax.  
  
"James." Moaned Lily, reaching her climax.  
  
That was the best sex Lily had ever had, and she had experience. For some reason having James' hot sweating body on top of hers was like sweet heaven. It was the same for James. After James had poured into Lily they just lay there. Still in each other. Panting. 'Hell, at this rate I won't have to ever have sex with another man again.' Thought Lily.  
  
~**~*~*~ 


	15. the morning after

~the inner workings of Lily Evans twisted mind~  
  
Disclaimer: This is getting annoying.  
  
Summary: Lily Evans is a goody-goody at Hogwarts, to anyone who does not know her. They think she is nice, innocent, and sweet. Their wrong. People may think Lily has no friends in Hogwarts, and knows no one, but they have never seen her at 'La Rave'. She usually parties all night long, but they don't know that, or do they?  
  
A/n: Sorry for the wait.  
  
Night: Good idea, maybe he will. Thanks.  
  
Uglinessrox55: Thanks.  
  
FEAngel258: Thanks, that is all I need to hear.  
  
me: Oh yea, James is HOT, thanks.   
  
Excalibur: Thanks.  
  
Chapter 14 preview: 'Hell, at this rate I won't have to ever have sex with another man again.' Thought Lily.  
  
~*~**~*~  
  
Lily woke up and smiled, remembering what had happened last night. She looked over at James, and ruffled his hair. He smiled in his sleep and got closer to Lily, his arms around her. James slowly opened his eyes.  
  
"Hey." Said Lily, noticing that he was awake.  
  
"Hey." Said James back.  
  
At that moment, Billy chose to walk in.  
  
"Whoa! I guess I missed something." He said looking at them.  
  
Lily pulled the blanket up to her neck.  
  
"I guess you did." She said.  
  
"Err.. Are you going to get up anytime soon?" asked Billy, referring to what position they were in.  
  
"Why?" asked James, but he slip out of Lily, anyway.  
  
"Breakfast is almost ready. That is why I came in to wake you people up. It's almost noon so it's probably lunch by now." Said Billy.  
  
Billy left the room, and James got up. He stretched his arms and yawned. Lily looked at him with a smirk on her face. Lily got up and put James' T- shirt and boxers on.  
  
"Hey, what am I going to wear?" asked James.  
  
Lily shrugged. She pointed to his pants.  
  
"Well, that might just work." Said James, sliding on his pants.  
  
Lily laughed. "Come on, Billy is a really good cook." Said Lily.  
  
James caught up with Lily. Billy looked at them when they came down.  
  
"If Lily is wearing your boxers, James, then what are you wearing under those?" asked Billy.  
  
"Born free." Was all that James would say.  
  
"You sure were." Said Lily, looking him up and down.  
  
Billy put breakfast on the table. There were pancakes, toast, bacon, and scrambled eggs.  
  
"Wow, Billy, you've really outdone yourself now. I have not had a breakfast like this since I came home from Hogwarts. I cannot quite remember why I came home, now, but I'm sure there was a reason. Either that or I was drunk." Said Lily, pouring herself some orange juice.  
  
"I'm glad you went home." Said Billy.  
  
"Yea, me too." Said James.  
  
Lily smiled. "I'll agree with both of you."  
  
She caught James' eye and they both smiled.  
  
"I'm guessing you're talking more to James than me." Said Billy, smirking at them.  
  
"Assume whatever you want." Said Lily.  
  
~**~*~  
  
a/n: Sorry it took so long and that it is so short, but I have writers block. That's why ideas would be great. 


	16. the one man

~the inner workings of Lily Evans twisted mind~  
  
Disclaimer: Whatever, before you sue me look into the first chapter.  
  
Summary: Lily Evans is a goody-goody at Hogwarts, to anyone who does not know her. They think she is nice, innocent, and sweet. Their wrong. People may think Lily has no friends in Hogwarts, and knows no one, but they have never seen her at 'La Rave'. She usually parties all night long, but they don't know that, or do they?  
  
A/n: Sorry for the wait. If anyone has any more ideas, that would be great! If anyone wants to be my beta reader please let me know.  
  
MonkeyGurl1: I'll take that as a compliment considering I like monkeys.  
  
mmn673: Thanks. I am sorry about the spelling mistakes but I am only 13 and I do try, but there is a limit I can go to.  
  
SprtieBabe: Thanks.  
  
Night: Thanks.  
  
Latin-SlytherinMuggle: Thanks, I think I am going to use that idea.  
  
paws10081: Thanks, that is ok; I have done that more than once before.  
  
Celestial Angel: Thanks. I think her friends will find out, but you will have to read to find out, ;). About the pregnant thing, that is a good idea, but it said in the other chapter that Lily and James used protection, so it does not really work out.  
  
me: Thanks. I am sure there is a song 'born free' but I have never heard one. It sounds like it would be a good song, doesn't it?  
  
Uglinessrox55: Thanks.  
  
JadeFox: Thanks. Yeah, it did go a bit quick, didn't it? Oh well, cannot change it now (or at least I am too lazy to). There will be a few more chapters.  
  
FEAngel258: Thanks. M y grandmothers getting me the fifth book on Sunday, so I'll try to finish it before then.  
  
Excalibur: Thanks.  
  
Chapter 15 previews: "I'm guessing you're talking more to James than me." Said Billy, smirking at them.  
  
"Assume whatever you want." Said Lily.  
  
~**~*~*chapter 16~**~*~*  
  
"Guess what guys?" asked Billy.  
  
It was December 31.  
  
"What?" asked Lily, paying more attention to the video game her ad James were playing, than of Billy.  
  
"You guys go back in two days, and today is New Years eve." Said Billy.  
  
James looked up at Billy, which was not a good idea because Lily killed him in that instant. Of course, James thought it was all worth it when Lily got up and starting to do a "victory dance". Lily and James were together, or they should have been. They were not officially a couple but they were sleeping together so it was assumed. Of course assumptions are dangerous, especially assumptions that have to do with Lily.  
  
"James you also have to go back tomorrow, so you should pack today." Said Billy.  
  
~**~*~*~  
  
It was about 11:00 and James was still packing. That was probably because he had not started until about 10:30.  
  
"James, come on downstairs until New Year. Then I'll help you pack." Offered Lily.  
  
"Ok." Said James, knowing that whatever was going to happen was probably more fun than packing.  
  
They went downstairs to find about 30 or so other people. Lily was happy that there were so many people but that was replaced by fear when she saw him.  
  
~A/n: I was going to stop there but it has been a long time since I updated so I am not going to. ~  
  
Him. The person she had feared more than anything else had in the world. She shuddered at the thought. The one man she had not been able to control, he had controlled her, instead. The man that had killed her child. The one man who she had lost her virginity to, her innocence. The one man that she could never forgive for what he had done. The one man that she thought should have died long ago. The one man who was the devil himself. That one man's name was Cornelius Oswald Fudge.  
  
~*~**~*~  
  
A/n: You have the right to hate me. This chapter is short and I have not updated in like a week or two. The reason I have not is that my cousin was at my house for a week. He would not leave me alone! I could barely check to see if anyone had updated, let alone update myself! My writers block is gone so I should update faster, or at least I'll try to. 


	17. scared

~The inner workings of Lily Evans twisted mind~  
  
Disclaimer: Can I please stop with these? It is getting tiring and I am lazy.  
  
Summary: Lily Evans is a goody-goody at Hogwarts, to anyone who does not know her. They think she is nice, innocent, and sweet. They are wrong. People may think Lily has no friends in Hogwarts, and knows no one, but they have never seen her at 'La Rave'. She usually parties all night long, but they do not know that, or do they?  
  
A/n: I am Sorry for the wait. My summer is busy. You have no idea how much stuff I have to do. I am on the swim team, have Bronze Medallion in swimming lessons and then I have many friends that I hang out with. It is busy trust me. When, in Lily's POV, she says Him or He with a capital it means Fudge.  
  
Tanya: Thank you, ewe that is just plain gross.  
  
LillyNyx: Thank you.  
  
SummerRain: Thanks, I got that a lot.  
  
Celestial Angel: Thank you. I do not like him either (that is somewhat obvious). Yes, she was pregnant with Fudge's child before, but it was a miscarriage.  
  
Anarane Anwamane: Thank you.  
  
sour-peach: Thank you. Sorry to keep you waiting but I wanted to post it as soon as possible.  
  
Nnifer: Thank you. Lol.  
  
paws10081: Thank you.  
  
Night: Thank you. I take it you do not like Fudge.  
  
Remy's Gurl: Thank you.  
  
Uglinessrox55: Thank you. I am reading the fifth book right now so I get ideas from that.  
  
FEAngel258: Thank you. I got that idea from the fifth book. I am reading the fifth book right now, but it is taking me along time because I am so busy.  
  
Chapter 16 preview: That one man's name was Cornelius Oswald Fudge.  
  
~*~*~* Chapter 17 ~*~**~*~  
  
James saw Lily's face pale. She looked scared of something, as if she would break down and cry at any minute. That was not something you would see on Lily Evans face.  
  
"Lily, what's wrong?" asked James, concerned.  
  
"What? Oh, yeah, nothing is wrong. Everything is ok." Lily seemed to be saying this more to herself than to James.  
  
James went behind Lily and put his arms around her waist. He rested his head onto her shoulder and kissed her neck.  
  
"What's the matter? You can tell me anything." Said James and his words seemed to reassure her.  
  
"Well, it's really nothing. I'm just being silly." Lily said.  
  
"Well, if you're worked up about it, it is not nothing. You don't have to tell me, Lily, but if you want to I might be able to help, and if not at least give you some comfort." James said stroking her hair.  
  
"Ok." Lily said somewhat shy now. "But you have to promise not to laugh." She added.  
  
"I promise I will not laugh. I would never laugh at something that is bothering this much." James said.  
  
"Well, you know that guy I told you about? The one I really hate?" asked Lily. James nodded in response. "Well, he's-"  
  
"Hey James, I'm glad you made it down here. There are some people I want you to meet." Billy said, cutting off Lily.  
  
"Go. It's not that important, I'll tell you later." Lily said, smiling weakly.  
  
"Are you sure?" asked James, not wanting to upset her.  
  
Lily nodded as James left. She could fell her insides turning inside out while she watched him go. She felt all alone now. She was hoping that she could hang around James all night and not have to talk to Him. Of course, she would not try to start a conversation or even say a quick 'hello', but she knew that He might try something. The truth be told, Lily Evans was scared. This is the same Lily Evans who vowed never be scared ever again. This was the same Lily Evans, who knew from right from wrong but picked wrong because she was not scared of anything. This Lily Evans was scared.  
  
~**~*~  
  
a/n: I know that chapter is short but I couldn't help it. That was just such a good place to stop, and I wanted to put this up as soon as possible. 


	18. the awaited chapter

~The inner workings of Lily Evans twisted mind~  
  
Disclaimer: A hahahaha. Sorry just wanted to do that.  
  
Summary: Lily Evans is a goody-goody at Hogwarts, to anyone who does not know her. They think she is nice, innocent, and sweet. They are wrong. People may think Lily has no friends in Hogwarts, and knows no one, but they have never seen her at 'La Rave'. She usually parties all night long, but they do not know that, or do they?  
  
a/n: Wow. This took me longer than I thought it would. My world is spinning so I came home from school early, I also took yesterday off for the same reason. Sorry for the wait!! Throw as much as you want at me!  
  
JadeFox1: Well, it took me awhile but she I am updating! Thanks.  
  
heather12345: Thanks. I emailed you but unfortunately I didn't update very soon, did I? Sorry!  
  
Tears of a Fairy Queen : Thank you. I feel so loved!  
  
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lilynjamesAAF: It the least I can do(email you) since it took me so long to update. Thank you!  
  
funnybunny00: Lol, yea sorry about the murder thing I'll fix that! Thank you sooo much!  
  
Lilix: Thanks, well I tried, ok I didn't but I will!  
  
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paws10081: Thanks. You know that you are the fan that has stuck with me through the whole story! By the way, I tried emailing you but it said that your account had 2 many emails or something like that so I couldn't. I'll try again but I just wanted to let you know that I did try.  
  
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sour-peach: Thanks. Sorry about the hurrying part but it's up now!  
  
~~**~chapter 17 preview:  
  
This Lily Evans was scared.  
  
~*~*~* chapter 18:  
  
As soon as James left Lily felt that something bad was going to happen. And sure enough it did.  
  
"Hey Lily, are you ok?" asked Billy. "You look pale."  
  
"What the hell is he doing here?" Demanded Lily, glaring at Billy.  
  
"Who?" asked Billy, confused.  
  
"Fudge." Lily's lips were curled up and she was shaking.  
  
"Sorry about that Lil. He insisted on coming. What was I suppose to say to him? He is the minister of magic." Billy said, hugging Lily.  
  
Lily anger instantly melted away. "It's ok, but I think I'm going to bed early tonight, and bringing James with me."  
  
"You have to at least stay up until midnight. My advice to you though, is not to drink. You might need your wits about you tonight." Billy responded.  
  
Lily nodded. As soon as she did that someone called out Billy's name. Billy looked unsure at Lily before he responded.  
  
"Go, I'll be fine. I'm a big girl now."  
  
"I know you are, my Tiger Lily." Lily rolled her eyes as Billy kissed her forehead. "Be good."  
  
"Yes mother." Whined Lily as Billy laughed.  
  
~~*~*~8  
  
James could not get through the mob back to Lily. It seemed like these people just did not want to let him go. Everyone wanted to ask him something.  
  
"C'mon people. Let the boy breathe." Said a voice that James thought was oddly familiar.  
  
Everyone soon clear and James recognized who the voice belonged to.  
  
"Thank you, Mr. Fudge. I thought I was going to die there for a second." James said shaking the outstretched hand.  
  
"Fame can be a trickle thing. Your James Potter, right? I went to school with your parents. I actually had quite a crush on your mother. Of course she was a 7th year and Head girl when I was just in first year though." Fudge said laughing.  
  
James talked to Fudge for a few minutes more when Lily came up behind him and asked who he was talking to.  
  
~**~*~  
  
a/n: I had to stop here. I just had to. Aren't I evil? First I don't update forever, then I leave a cliffhanger. Sorry, I just had to! 


	19. James, the protector LAST CHAPTER! THE E...

~The inner workings of Lily Evans twisted mind~  
  
Disclaimer: Yea, yea, yea. Ya no wat I mean.  
  
Summary: Lily Evans is a goody-goody at Hogwarts, to anyone who does not know her. They think she is nice, innocent, and sweet. They are wrong. People may think Lily has no friends in Hogwarts, and knows no one, but they have never seen her at 'La Rave'. She usually parties all night long, but they do not know that, or do they?  
  
A/n: Another snow day! Yay!  
  
Aileen: Thank you.  
  
Jeddyjeddy: Thanks.  
  
Polinka: Thanks. I know, I'm evil.  
  
luniloveggod: Lol. Unfortunately that would against the law and Lily would go to jail for that but I wish she could do that too! Thanks.  
  
Tears of a Fairy Queen:lol. Sorry, but thanks.  
  
the inner workings of a sick mind :I'm sorry you think that way.  
  
Siriusremusjames: Ya I know he's sick, but I had to think of someone I didn't like. Sorry about the spelling. Thanks.  
  
floggin molly:You'll just have to wait and see! Thanks.  
  
Prongs 4 Lily: Thank you.  
  
Lily Lupin89: Err.. Thanks. I think..  
  
~*~*~* chappie 18 review:  
  
James talked to Fudge for a few minutes more when Lily came up behind him and asked who he was talking to.  
  
~**~*Chapter 19~*~*~*  
  
Lily's face paled when she saw who was talking to James.  
  
"Hey Lils. This is-"  
  
"Fudge." Lily spoke his name with such vermin that James was almost scared.  
  
"Yes, He knew my parents." James said, slightly confused about what Lily was mad at.  
  
"I know who he is, James." Lily said, glaring at Fudge.  
  
Fudge just smirked. "Yes, Lily and I go way back."  
  
"A little too far back I think." Lily was still glaring at him.  
  
"I suppose so. Sometimes the past comes back to haunt you." Fudge smiled and winked at Lily.  
  
After he left Lily muttered "If I could I'd cut off his-"  
  
"Whoa there Lily, what's the matter?" James asked, putting his arm around Lily's waist.  
  
"That man." Lily spat, as her anger rose.  
  
"Yes?" urged James.  
  
"That man, the same man you decided to become friends with. He was the man who killed my child. He is the man I despise more than anyone else." Lily spat in a rage.  
  
"Lily I'm sorry-"  
  
"Never mind, James. I shouldn't have said anything." With that Lily ran away.  
  
James tried to fight through the crowd to Lily but people began to flock him again. 'What have I done?' thought James.  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
Lily was still steaming mad. Why was she mad? She was mad that a man could make her yell at James like that. She hadn't meant to but she just couldn't help it. She was still mad at Fudge for doing that to her. In an instant her anger turned into angst. She willed herself not to cry. 'I won't give him that satisfaction.' Lily thought as the tears came to her emerald eyes. She fell down with a cry as someone pushed her. She stumbles to look up and for the second time in her life she wishes she hadn't. But it's only James, her protector. The one man who proved everyone wrong. He proved that Lily Evans could fall in love.  
  
"Lily's it's going to be ok." He whispers as he picks her up and carries her to her room.  
  
And for the first time in her life she believes him.  
  
~*~*~*  
  
a/n: Ok, this is unfortunately the end! I'm sorry but this fic is pretty long and I need to finish off something. I keep thinking up more ideas for fics so I need to start to finish off some others. If anyone gives me an idea I may write a sequel but I'm not sure about that one. Thanks for reading,  
  
Luv ya, M*andy. 


	20. behind blue eyes the last chapter

~The inner workings of Lily Evans twisted mind~  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own any of J.K.'s characters or the song 'behind blue eyes' by Limp Bizkit.  
  
A/n: Ok. I really did like the ending after I read it a few times but I had a really good idea and people were complaining that I didn't finish it right. Well this is the final actual last chapter. I hope you like it! Tell me what you think.  
  
~*~*~*~**~*~* chapter 20 ~*~*~*~  
  
This is Cornelius Fudge. Yes I did kill Lily Evans first child. And id I had to do it all over again I would do it exactly the same. The bitch had it coming. You would have done the same thing if you had been in my shoes. No, you don't think so? Well you don't know the half of it. You don't care either. I'm the bad guy.  
  
No one knows what it's like  
  
To be the bad man  
  
To be the sad man  
  
Behind blue eyes  
  
Yes, if you asked me again I would deny it. Hell, if you asked me half of the shit I'd done were true, I'd call you crazy. This is as truthful as you get. And half of it's a lie! I can't help it anymore. I lie so much I don't even know what's true anymore. I'm on everyone's most hated list because of it and I'd do it all the same if I could.  
  
And no one knows  
  
What it's like to be hated  
  
To be fated to telling only lies  
  
Yes I have dreams. I have dreams that none of it ever happened. I dream that I'm actually a good man that people see. But I'm not. I don't have much of a conscience anymore. I gave it up when I wanted to become the Minister of Magic. You can't have a child unless you are married if you want that and I sure wasn't going to marry Lily Evans.  
  
But my dreams they aren't as empty  
  
As my conscience seems to be  
  
You think that I practically raped her don't you? Well I didn't. She actually came on to me. I was only getting some fun. No one was going to find out. That was my vengeance. She wanted the kid, I didn't. I couldn't have kids. It could never get out that I knocked someone up half my age. So I did what I had to.  
  
My love is vengeance  
  
That's never free  
  
It's all her fault! You don't get that do you? No, of course not because I'm the bad guy. How could I forget. I had strong feelings for her. He red hair flying around. Her sparkling green eyes. And then she came up to me! She wanted me! How was I suppose to say no that? But you wouldn't understand.  
  
No one knows what its like  
  
To feel these feelings  
  
Like i do, and i blame you!  
  
I was so mad when I found out. She's lucky I didn't kill her too! I wanted to. The little vixen wanted to play me. She wanted me to get mad! I did. But she didn't know that because I was calm on the outside. Nothing phased me. I always keep my anger in. I only do what I have to.  
  
No one bites back as hard  
  
On their anger  
  
None of my pain and woe  
  
Can show through  
  
You say you feel pity for her but what about me? Did you think I wanted to kill my own child? No, I didn't. But that's how I was raised. If you didn't want something a cretin way you had to fix it, In this case, fix them. I couldn't talk to anyone for days after that. I was defreated.But you couldn't undersatnd that. I'm the bad guy. I don't feel.  
  
Discover l.i.m.p. say it  
  
No one knows what its like  
  
To be mistreated, to be defeated  
  
Behind blue eyes  
  
You want me to say sorry? You want me to say that I regretted it and that it would never happen again. You want me to tell you say that there is nothing to worry about? Well fuck you then! I'm not sorry, I don't regret it, and you have to worry. That telling the straight truth.  
  
No one knows how to say  
  
That they're sorry and don't worry  
  
I'm not telling lies  
  
So yea. You can criticize me. You can say that I don't deserve anything. But I don't care. You can go a ahead. Because to you I will always be a bad guy no matter what.  
  
No one knows what its like  
  
To be the bad man, to be the sad man  
  
Behind blue eyes.  
  
A/n: Tell me what you think. I came up with this idea while I was listening to this song. I did something like this for one of my other fics. Then I came up with it being in the "bad guy's" POV. 


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